Réplique - Saison 5

Réplique : Saisons 5

Episode 503

Ted: Lipo. Lipo. Butt lift. lipo and brow lift..
Brian: Hey, why don't you try doing a little work, instead of counting whose had work done?
Ted: And the point of that would be...?
Justin: To keep your body, mind and spirit healthy, and in shape. Of course, I personally don't need it. I only do this so guys can check out my ass.
Ted: Yeah, well check back with me when your thirty eigh--five and the sun has begun to set on your endless summer. I've been coming to the gym three times a week for eighteen years, that's let see...two thousands, one hundred and sixteen hours spent in the gym and look at me! I'm exactly the same... I take that back, their's actually more of me instead of less of me. And not where I wanted to be. So why not just have a snip and clip and be done with it?
Emmett: I've been canceled! After today, "queer guy" is gone. Do you know why? Because they thought I wasn't queer enough! ME! I mean, I've been called many, many things but never not queer enough.
Brian: It's not only unconscionable, it's unfathomable.
Emmett: I mean, you saw me. Was I not the queerest thing on god's earth?
Justin: Actually, you seemed a little bit-
Ted: -Reserved.
Emmett: Reserved?
Ted: You know, not your usual flamboyant self.
Emmett: Well, I'm a news man now. I had to lower the flame a bit. I mean, I figured if I was too flamboyant I might turn people off.
Brian: And instead they turned you off. I believe there is a profound life lesson in this.
Ted: They hired you because they didn't want some stiff straight guy who looks like he has a poker up his ass.
Brian: They wanted some gay guy who looked like he had a fist up his ass.
Ted: They wanted you. Emmett Honeycutt.
Brian: Queerest. Nelliest. Ho Ho Homo in the ho ho whole wide world.

.Episode 504

Justin: It's amazing.
Brian: That I've been soaping your crack for the past ten minutes and you haven't asked me to fuck you?
Justin: That you and I would be together and Melanie and Lindsay would be apart.
Brian: Well who knows what wonders the fates have in store...
Justin: I mean, if they can't make it, who can?
Brian: Ding, ding, ding, ding. The correct answer is no one.
Justin: Stop being cynical.
Brian: I'm not being cynical, i'm being-
Justin: -Realistic?
Brian: Do you mind if I finish my own sentences? I despise when couples do that.
Justin: Hah! did you hear that, rubber ducky? He said couples, I should quit while I'm ahead.
Brian: Not before you give me some.
Justin: Hah!
Brian: Mon amour.
Justin: Mon amour! I love how other people's tragic marital plight makes you romantic.
Brian: Hard.
Justin: Christ. What a big boner.
Brian: All the better-
Justin: -To fuck me with?
Brian: What did I just warn you about-
Justin: -finishing each other's sentences.
Brian: Marriage is a doomsday regime. Destined to self-destruct. Fortunately however, for you and I. we'll be spared of such abysmal fate.

Ep. 5.11

Brian: I love how you’ve kept the original details: rusty pipes, filthy windows, grime covered walls…
Justin: It may not be the country manor of my dreams with stables and a pool but at least its mine….you hungry?
Brian: What do you got?
Justin: I don’t.
Brian: Then why did you ask?
Justin: I can go get something.
Brian: Spare yourself the trip. I just stopped by to see if you were alright.
Justin: I’m fine, thanks.
Brian: Good. I thought if anyone would come through all this unruffled it’d be you.
Justin: When I was bashed, I found out that the best way to survive, to go on, is to make something: a painting, a napkin holder. It doesn’t matter… just so that you can prove to yourself, and to them, that they didn’t get you. You’re still here.
Brian: I’m glad you are.
Justin: Brian, you’re gonna’ get paint all over yourself.
Brian: Doesn’t matter. Didn’t you hear what I said to you last night?
Justin: Yes, I heard. You said you loved me.
Brian: Then how about marrying me?
Justin: What? Stop being ridiculous.
Brian: I’m not being ridiculous. I mean it.
Justin: You don’t mean it. How could Mr. I-believe-in-fucking-not-love mean it? You detest marriage. You detest anybody who enters into an imitation heterosexual union that by its very nature is doomed to fail. Did I get that right?
Brian: Word perfect…But I’ve changed my mind.
Justin: Well so have I. I have no intention of marrying someone who by his very nature is doomed to fail…Besides you’re only asking because you’re freaked out about what happened to Michael.
Brian: I did have this dream. I was at his funeral but he wasn’t in the coffin. I was.
Justin: There. You see? Now as soon as life returns to normal, so will you, back from the dead.
Brian: Not without you.
Justin: I know you too well, way too well. Now thank you for saying it, but the answer’s ‘no.’

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Justin: When you said there was something you had to show me, I didn’t think it would be in West Virginia.
Brian: It’s less than half an hour out of Pittsburgh.
Brian and Justin arrive at a huge country house
Justin: Wow.
Brian: Wait ‘til you see the tennis court, and the pool, and the stables.
Justin: Stables? Who lives here?
Brian: We do.
Justin: What?
Brian: I bought it.
Justin: You bought this house?
Brian pulls Justin into the house and the following exchange is in the living room
Brian: You said that your small but charmless studio would have to do until your country manor came along. I hoped this would be all you dreamed of.
Justin: And more. But I told you I-
Brian: You won’t marry me…Well who could blame you? I am, without a doubt, the worst candidate for marriage alive. But conversely, that’s also the reason that I’m the best candidate.
Justin: And how’s that?
Brian: Because as strongly as I was opposed to the idea, now that I’m behind it, I am as fervently and passionately committed.
Justin: Uh-huh… And what changed your mind?
Brian: I finally thought of one good reason to do it.
Justin: And what is that one good reason?
Brian: To prove to the person that I love how much I love him- that I would give him anything, do anything…id be anything to make him happy.
Justin: You’re fucking unbelievable.
Brian: It’s true. I am.
Justin: You- you bought this? You bought this palace?
Brian: It’s for my prince.
Justin: uhh…
Brian: I’m also selling the loft and the club.
Justin: Without even knowing what my answer would be?
Brian: I’m taking a chance on love.
Justin: Then you mean it?
Brian: I’ve never meant anything more.
Justin: Okay.
Brian: Okay?
Justin: Let’s do it.
Brian: Say it.
Justin: Yes.
Brian: Yes, what?
Justin: Yes! Yes, I will marry you. I will marry you. What don’t tell me you’re already having second thoughts?
Brian: Not one.
 

Ep. 5.12

Brian: I only have one question. After we’re married, will you still… blow me?
Justin: Ever the romantic…That depends, if you still fuck me in every room of, um, what are we gonna’ call it? Mandalay? Zanadu? Wuthering heights?
Brian: I’ll leave the christening up to you.
Justin: Brighton!
Brian: Bri… tin.
Justin: It’s amazing, isn’t it?
Brian: I wouldn’t go that far.
Justin: I mean that it’s really happening.
Brian: I can just see their faces when they get their announcements.

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Emmett:: If anyone had asked me, I would have said I’d be doing Britney and whoevers wedding first.
Brian: Well, we’ll be sure to recommend you.
Emmett:: Now, I’ve gone over your wish list and everything seems fairly cut and dry, but fabulous, except for this one little item here: golden gardenias…
Justin: There’s a Chinese legend that once your lover breathes them that he’ll love you forever!
Emmett:: I’ll call the florist, order a crate.
Justin: They only grow in the Zishwang Bana Mountains in Southern China.
Emmett:: How about the petunias that only grow in Southern Pittsburgh?
Brian: Hey, if Justin wants golden gardenias…
Emmett:: Alright, then he’ll have golden gardenias… Michael! Look at you. You’re up!
Michael: And out.
Justin: How are you feeling?
Michael: The doctor says that I’ll live, provided I stay away from bombs.
Emmett:: We were just, uh, planning the Taylor-Kinney nuptials.
Michael: Well, don’t let me disturb you.
Emmett:: No, no. I was just leaving, for China. If you would point me in the right direction…

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Brian: I like the minimalist direction your work’s taking.
Justin: Luckily, you’re not an art critic. It’s a seating chart for our wedding dinner.
Brian: Ohhhhh…
Justin: Homo, Lesbian, Homo, Lesbian, Homo, Lesbian. I hope Mel and Linds don’t leave town before the wedding. It’ll fuck up my entire seating arrangement.
Brian: Something tells me they’re not going anywhere…Pope Michael is never gonna’ give his blessing.
Justin: I’d hate not seeing them, or the kids, especially Gus. I was there the night he was born. I even named him.
Brian: I forgot about that.
Justin: I’m not surprised. You were stoned outta’ your mind.
Brian: And yet, I have a vivid memory of the subsequent events.
Justin: I’m sure you do.
Brian: What the fuck. It’s their lives. It’s their decision.
Justin: You know, you amaze me. He’s your son and you’re acting like you don’t give a shit.
Brian: They’re his parents, not me ….I’m just-
Justin: An un-credited guest appearance…I know…You should give yourself more credit. I see how you are when you’re with him. It’s like nobody else on earth exists and when he looks at you-
Brian: You know, I don’t think you should seat your mom’s boyfriend next to Debbie unless you’re trying to scare him away.
Justin: Will you listen to me. Are you listening?
Brian: Yeah. I’m listening.
Justin: You’re not your father. You love your son. Now, what’s it gonna’ take for you to admit it? Another bomb?
Brian: I’m gonna’ go take a shower.

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Justin: You know, your idea of registering at Prada was genius, but, don’t you think that, uh, Pottery Barn would be a little bit more useful?
Brian: Shoes, serving bowl, shoes, blender. No, I don’t think so….”Mr. Taylor’s large-scale canvas combines the high-energy impulsiveness”- my that’s a mouthful- “of Pollock, plus the analytic painterliness”- he likes big words- “of Johns. But what makes his talent unique is a quality that hasn’t been seen in a log time- sex appeal.” New York is waiting to be conquered. That’s some review Mr. Taylor.
Justin: I don’t even know why Lindsey showed you that.
Brian: Because you didn’t.
Justin: Just because some art-scene fairy, who probably admired my ass a lot more than my work, decides to write a fawning review doesn’t mean I should pack my bags and grab the next greyhound.
Brian: He could have admired your ass without writing a fawning review and you have never been on a greyound in your life.
Justin: No, but I have been to Hollywood. They gushed too, remember? Made a bunch of bullshit promises. What makes you think New York would be any different? The only one who never broke a promise is you.